Why the Lockheed Martin quiz “What kind of jet fighter are you?” is trite, disturbing and dishonest.

By E.F Nicholson 

When it comes to personailty tests and overall online fun times, who better to lead the way than the world’s biggest producer of arms and warcraft of death and destruction than Lockheed Martin. The American company that turns over 44 billion annually decided to jazz up their website with a fun and interactive personailty quiz. As you go through the test questions it will determine what winged kill machine best fits with your identity. I can imagine some kind of intern got dumped with the job; it doesn’t seem they went as far as hiring a psychologist to really probe into people’s minds, as the questions are fairly vacious and bland, and the answers it gives you to choose from are equally as boring. They are as follows:

1. What is your favorite kind of movie?

2. Can you keep a secret?

3. When you play ‘Hide-and-Seek,’ which are you better at?

4. Would you rather win a weightlifting competition or a track race?

5. Would you consider yourself a ‘Jack of All Trades’ or ‘Master of One?’

The 24 billion dollar photo-op

In spite of being trite and glib, given the nature of their business, it’s also dishonest, as it isn’t much different than “What kind of landmine are you?” or “What kind of bomb are you?” Let’s be clear: the jets they sell are not used for scenic flights across Disneyland. They are for the purpose of killing people from high above. Since the U.S. has never been in a postion where it’s had to defend itself on any level, the purchase of these jets are about attacking and destroying people, buildings and armies of the enemy. Same goes with Isreal, the U.K., Australia and any other western deomcracy that buys these kinds of fighter jets. As mentioned in the previous article, the Australian goverment has just purchased 58 more of their most overpriced, cost-bloated aircraft yet, the F-35. Maybe Tony Abbot took the quiz and got matched with the F-35, and that was the extent of the rationale behind spending 24 billion of taxpayer’s money on these usless hunks of metal. I think a more honest set of questions would go like this:

1. What is your favorite movie? Rambo: First Blood or Rambo 3?

2. Are you willing to kill incocent people and keep your mouth shut about it?

3. Do you enjoy killing people who are hiding or do you prefer to just kill in the plain light of day?

4. Would you prefer to destroy a village and all its inhabits with one big kiss-arse bomb or would you prefer many cluster bombs wiping them out a little bit at a time?

5. Do you prefer using one method of death and destruction or do you like having mutiple options in how you kill innocent civilians?

6. Would you prefer to lie about a jet’s capabilty or just overcharge the goverment for whatever they purchase?

7. Do you prefer selling jets to tyrranical despots or corrupt plutocracies?

All in all, a quiz such as this is disturbing and trite. There is no way for you to dilute or water down the fact that this is a company that profits on death and destruction. These types of promotions are a pathetic attempt to make light of the violent and brutal nature of what they do and what they sell. Lockheed Martin should stick to what they do best: selling weapons to clients so they can most effectivly kill people.