Resisting the urge to be a moron is something we all need to get behind

By E.F Nicholson

I am not sure if the title of the article is ironic or just contradictory but I am hoping you get the drift. Our brains are systemically being buzzfeed down and we must all intellectually resist the temptation to consume the “Information Slurpee’s” being pushed on us . Here is my compelling and riveting argument , broken down into 3 simple and easy to follow points.

1)      Contributing to the dumbing down of how the written word is used to communicate facts, feelings and information.

By reading these “3 reason why” type articles you are inadvertently validating the very reason they are used. The fact a writer needs to breakdown, whatever they are saying in 7 or 8 or 9 separate but related points, works on the premise that if they don’t, you can’t. That is because you’re kind of dumb and you need your information broken up into little easy to understand chewable pieces, a bit like how I cut my daughters toast when she was 3 years old. Research, from an imaginary research centre I just invented, found in studies that if you treat people like thick morons, pretty soon they will starting acting like thick morons. We have hours of reality TV footage confirming this fact.  The fact many people don’t read books anymore, that attention span appears to be  shirking at a rapid rate, these 3 reason why article is an other step diluting information for growing hordes of dummy dumb dumbs. I know many of the articles I have written are way too long and overstretched and there is an argument for succinct and clear writing. Yet this isn’t it, this about turning meaningful writing and understandings into fun factoids and insight lite. As its already assumed you don’t want knowledge or wisdom but only written infotainment. Show them they are wrong, so no more top number list forever!!!

2)      Most of the information is entertaining at its best but is more often or not just plain old useless.

You know what I thought when I got married. Wow I am so glad I read the “Top 10 things you need to do before you get married” list on buzzfeed , as now I can enter marriage knowing I have done the 10 things a 22 year old college gradate has imagined you should do and he would do, once he was an adult with a girlfriend, rather than man-boy sucking on the tit of an inflatable doll. Also I  recently  read the “7 things you need to know before you join the Taliban” which that was really lucky, as there was thinking they were a rock band that were looking for a new frontman. As the nature of 6 best things type list, is thing have to be kept light and devoid of too much insight. So you get the illusion of feeling if you have just gain some knowledge, without actually really getting any, kind of like coke zero without the carcinogenic effects.  Could you imagine Noam Chomsky writing an article titled “ 8 reason American should stop being such  warmongering imperialist haters” or Albert Camus doing “ 4 reason existentialism is the coolest  but most meaningless thing this summer” or Carl Jung doing “ 7 ways your shadow is planning to total screw up your life and probably already has”. Need I say anymore

3)      When you get to last few numbers on your list you just need to make stuff up

In the spirit of being really honest I only had two points I wanted to make but two reasons, just sounds  less compelling than three. So I added three and thought by the time I get to it I will  have made a new and witting condemnation of top number lists .It appears I have fail to do this, yet by writing about the fact you need to just invent stuff to shove in your list is kind of  its own independent point, so maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. Yet if I did just make something up it could be “Every top number list article you read will bring your IQ down a point”.  So if your  are dumb enough to believe that, I have just made you dumber and your welcome.