The most punchable face awards 2014
There is some unique and very particular quality to a face that says “hey punch me.” Although each candidate has his or her own unique punchable qualities, there are some general common characteristics, such as haughty contempt, grotesque arrogance, unquestioned entitlement, being cavalier about sending other people’s children to war, getting nostalgic about Roland Regan or Margret Thatcher , being Simon Cowell , the list goes on.
The world being the way it is, were we are led by the least among us and live surrounded by a celebrity cultural that’s in veneration to the inane, means there are so many bell-ends to choose from its hard to know where to start. That said, here are my top 7 candidates. Please vote for yours in comment section of the blog or Facebook to post who you think is deserving of the most punchable face of 2014. I apologise in advance if I have left anyone who is more deserving than list below. Of course it should go without saying I am not advocating actually violence and suggesting that given the chance you should actually punch any of these people in the face, despite how actually deserving of it they are….although with Tony Blair I think we could make a exception.
George Osborne: Where do you start with this pompous, arrogant Lord Fauntleroy who doles out tax breaks for his friends and family, while screwing the poor, all with a nasty sneer like grin on his face. Who’s says we are still not govern by an aristocracy. Then there is just face itself, so smug and so posh, it’s crying out to be smack in the gob. His permanent condescending smirk is like his is privy to this big joke that he sniggers privately with his Bollington buddies.
Eric Cantor looks like he is the love child of Ayn Rand and right wing version of Clark Kent. He is pro war and of course has never gone to war himself, like so many of his chicken hawk republican peers. For the poor he advises they need to pull themselves form the boot straps whilst shamelessly pushing to increase corporate welfare. A career politician recently booted out of his seat by someone even further on the right. His defined and self-righteous features put him as strong candidate in this year’s most punchable face. You could add turtlehead Mitch McConnell as an older version of himself, making it two for one super punch.
Simon Cowell, enough said.
Tony Blair you could argue deserves to be in category of his own, as he could even be the winner of the most punchable face of the last 100 years and there is lot of faces he would be up against. Here is a guy who arrogantly followed the US into two murderous wars. Thus having the blood on his hands millions of innocent people and, who you could say has been the architect of all the current instability now in that region. Yet he has done all of this and feels quite delighted about how awesome he is and how stinkingly rich he is becoming. He has moved seamlessly from the limelight of PM to millionaire consultant to some of the world’s most viscous despots. Tony ticks all the boxes of what makes a face truly punchable, he just wreaks of a permanent odor of sanctimonious smugness. To do what he has done and still have the gall to write opinion pieces how to fix things in the middle east, make me think he is sociopath or at minimum malignant narcissist, or the one guy David Ike got right who is actually a reptile hiding in human skin. One just hopes that there is fact a wrathful god who’s judgment his Teflon skin will not be able to get away from.For more concise and scathing insight into tony go to this blog, very funny and very true.
King Joffrey of house Baratheon :OK it’s a fictional character but as far as punchable faces goes he really hits all of the sweet spots. Sadistic, vain, thick, arrogant, he actually has all the qualities required to be in the Tory cabinet or be nominated for the noble peace prize.
Tucker Carlson : Most famous for being smacked down and humiliated by Jon Stewart on the show crossfire. Mr Tucker has everything you need to get you into the poll position of this year’s most punchable face. This former signature bow tie wearing douche who like most pundits on the right are pro war as long they don’t have get actually any blood on their hands. When you see him smile he just looks super pleased to be himself and so happy just being him. I would imagine he would jerk off to his on reflection.
Scott Disick : Actually didn’t even know this guy’s name yet I couldn’t erase his punchable face from my memory. The fact his surname kind looks like the word “Dick” is no coincidence. If you don’t know this guy he is part of the Kardashian entourage, playing the role of obnoxious boyfriend to Kourtney ,Kim’s sisters. Just wearing that suit and tie in the middle of the three pics above, would be enough to get him nominated. He is the insufferable poster boy for everything that punchable in the human race, vain, conceited, entitled and mostly he is a flat out moron. Which there is lies at heart what makes his face so punchable, is his massive blind spot that’s unable to see how big douchebag and simpleton he really is.
So there you have my list.Please put in the comments section of the blog of Facebook anyone i have missed out.